Another all time favorite .

A sort of..something. kay

154 Days After

Looking back, seeing how perfect things used to be, wondering how easily everything could change to what you never wanted.
Everything was bearable , nothing seemed impossible, everything made so easy, every moment made so beautiful. Some can do it all, and then take it all back. You can never know who it might be.
Not just one person, it's the whole time and everything that went with the flow. It's sometimes quite surprising how it could have actually happened.  A blink of an eye and what you never dreamed of is yours, another blink and its all gone. 

If bad times don't last for long..Neither do the good ones
. 

Bits of nostalgia.
That one place in my house I really avoid going to, but maybe today I'll sit there and think.
Sick of looking at my cell.
Will live with my own belief.
Hope will forever live.
 

The video in my head.

It becomes the most frustrating thing in the world at times, yet is one you love the most. The video of the times you cherish most playing in your head over and over again, what sucks is that you can't LOOK at it.

It would be like watching a favorite movie over and over again, living every single moment like it once happened with the same feeling, the same response the same everything.

Get a nice machine made to record these as videos. Till then I close my eyes and let them play and feel and love them till I can't keep my eyes closed anymore :P
 

I feel safer here. it's like heaving a sigh of relief. To just let it all flow out in whatever manner it is to come.
I can never get rid of this song. :  (Payphone) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FlQSQuv_mg

8:47 p.m

Some time back I read Daniel Steel's "To love again" I specifically picked it up because that is something I found very hard to believe, the book was good..very good actually. For a while it did change my view, but then again I went back to being the same old me not believing..let's see how long not believing it lasts. Just hope that I don't have to be in a place to believe it. :)

Glistening Tears

She thought about it all the time, she could not remember the last time she had stopped thinking about it for than 5 minutes. For all she knew, the thought was always there at the back of her head somewhere hidden yet frequently exposed. Something she just could not seem to get rid of.

She lay on the bed in the dark staring at whatever she could make out of the ceiling, she didn't know who she was talking to but the words just came out. There was nothing she said that would make sense to anyone listening but it was a blissful feeling for her to get rid of the load she was carrying, to hear her own voice saying things she always just thought of and could never really speak out.

She knew 'Here' was nothing but a hollow space.

She took long walks under the beautiful night sky occasionally, looking up at the black blanket filled with the oh-so-beautiful stars she once wished upon...Actually she would still do, there was still a part of her which would do anything it could for her.
She walked for a while not sure of what to think about. She let the occasional tears roll down. They felt hot on her cheeks cooled by the wind.

It didn't matter what anyone said or did, it didn't matter what they tried to make her understand. Infact, she didn't care because this was what she had made her life into. Might have been nothing significant at all but it was everything that ever mattered to her and it always will not matter where life takes her. But then waht really is significant? Nothing, nothing at all.

For once she doesn't care what happens to her. She doesn't give a shit about the damned reality. All her life she lied in the perfect fantasy, a dream world of her own, just as perfect as she had planned it out. She stepped into reality and for a while it almost felt the same. But soon enough, it showed it's true colors. She was fast to accept, even if she did not believe, that everything could not be the same, but now it was her strength and belief which put her on a road to look for that perfect world in her imperfect life. She is now on that quest, and is sure not to be disappointed. Because glistening tears do nothing but increase sorrow, the pain someone once put into you.
 

A Deeper Connection

What the sky has with the clouds.
What the sand has with the water.
What the monitor has with the key-board.
What the window has with the door.
What the table has with the chair.
What the lamp has with the bulb.
What the shelf has with the books.
What the Ipod has with the songs.
What the camera has with the pictures.
What humans have with each other.

Do we fail to acknowledge?
Or do we simply just ignore?

These connections never fail.
Then how could the one between us so easily go ?

  

11:46

I don't want a fairy-tale, just a life where your world belongs to me.
 

Beach 2012

Always written essays on beaches , seen beautiful shots of the water , gazed at the strokes of the brush capturing the calm beauty. Always looked at it as a beautiful place to be in, to have fun in.
What I had forgotten was that it holds a much deeper meaning. Some sort of connection with our souls, something we love. I like to call it the treasure chest of memories. I believe that ever memory I make is stored in the water, the sand, the cool winds and everything that is there and when each year I go back, it's like going back to everything. It's like reliving the past, all of it. In a more refined and beautiful way, and with the same feeling the same thinking I go back to where I once belonged. Where my heart left me, where everything held meaning...where it all made sense.

It's enchanting. Being me all over again.