Empty Spaces.
Not a lost soul. Not looking for life.
Saturday, 2 November 2013
00:46
Friday, 12 October 2012
Sometimes you can't hate a time person or thing no matter how much you should because at some point it made you smile and forget everything.
We say its useless to cling to a thought or a feeling which doesnt mean anything anymore. But the thing is that we Know it has no meaning but its ours and there's this comfort in remembering it , keeping it. Most people dont understand that, they just judge you, they judge and think youre, well plain stupid.
Thursday, 4 October 2012
Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we have NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. No one should ever have to deal with bullying in their life, it has more of an effect on people than you may think and doesn't just affect the person being bullied.
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
Yesterday and Tomorrow
'Yesterday has passed. Tomorrow never comes. It is to dwell in today and make the most of it.'
Is it really that easy to forget the past, leave the future and focus on the present? No. This is exactly something we do not do.
The past might have gone and will never come back but it holds something greater. Memories. Memories strong enough to make you cling to the past no matter how hard you try not to. Good or bad, either way they're always part of you. Whatever they gave you ; guilt, happiness, sorrow, comfort, smiles, something to cry on, something to miss. Whatever it is since they're part of you they just don't let go.
In the end.. Well you get accustomed to living with them and love them even though they kill you from the inside.
Then there is the future. Tomorrow. Something took forward to? Even though we don't know what surprises life has for us in the store, what it has already written for us. We still go through the extensive process of planning it out. Everyday, every minute. With exact details of how We want something, ignoring the fact of how bitterly disappointing it can get when life plays its game but being humans we never fail to live in our own constructed world.
We forget to live in the present. In the end that's how it alll is.
Monday, 3 September 2012
The me of yesterday.
The perfect world sure did exist. In this weird twisted way, compelled to believe how selfless and helpful the human population would be. Love would prevail over everything. Faults would be regarded as points to improve and so on.
Sounds quite bizzare to the any sane person today. Something to have a nice laugh at. Of course who would in their right minds be like This in todays world ?
But this is the ideal bubble we all had in us at one point in life. Every child has. And we sit here waiting for that bubble to pop and for him/her to step into reality to become that inhumane human that we have all become.
No relation has that essence of truth in it anymore. Love is merely a word with a lost meaning which hardly anyone can find. Breaking hearts is the new fashion. Having a high number of relations is a competition.
Each person might not be selfish and selfcentered but when looking at the world they see they can't survive being some alien being (read: helpfull) they unintentionally turn themselves into the evil they swore not to become. And so the whole chain grows longer and longer every single day.
None of this is unknown to any of us, but we very conviniently turn a deaf ear to it, at times by writing you not only remind another person but also yourself.
Kindness is always rewarded, in one way or another. Never wasted.
Thursday, 9 August 2012
I don't know what to name this.

Thursday, 5 July 2012
12:38 am
Bent on learning about how the mind works.
Hopefully socio might help just a little to get started,.
