The Social Butterfly Crushed.

She looked around automatically trying to flutter the wings she had no more.
It seemed like months when she had had her last 'Hang-out' with her so-called friends who now flew so high she couldn't even reach out to them. Remembering her days tears filled her eyes. Tears not of grief but of guilt.
How she had left some the way she was now.
First day in middle school, the bubbly cheerful one was admired by all. Everyone trying to get that place beside her, not because she was beautiful but because of the "charm" as they all claimed. Who doesn't feel as if on the top of the world in such situations.? Egos go high. Hopes go higher and expectations cross limits. She was the same. Grabbing everything that matched her "standards" ignoring anything less. Crowded with people all around her, THIS was her life, something she didn't want to let go off for anything in the world, but again, when does fate work on our rules? She lost it lost everything. Just because she locked her life into few people of her "standard". Ignoring every opportunity of friendship in front of her just because she thought she had everything she needed. Wrong, wasn't she?
Days passed by, months passed by and she lost the connection. The charm got buried somewhere deep within her soul, somewhere she couldn't go looking for it. That's when everything came tumbling on her. The observers, followers, friends all found a way of becoming what she was before. Not that it was something she didn't like, but she had lost her power people who once stood nowhere had her place. She had lost it! Willingly for the ones who now didn't want to think of her because they got what everyone desires.
Realization struck her. Loneliness prevailed around her. She knew she had lost the battle not fought.
Lost her trust in everyone she loved, guilty of what she had done wrongs with people.
The Social Butterfly is crushed.  

Quick Word

Yes, I was right when I said writings's going to get rare once I take a dip the the ocean of books. So I haven't exactly bee studying like crazy but internet hours have gone less. Not enough time to open up everything together and write at the same time.
Facebook and Twitter can be heaven and hell at the same time.
I'm here for a quick word like a 'once in a while Hi/Hello' .
So nothing really interesting has been happening...for once I wish at least more than 10 people start reading what I write. It's going to be much encouraging then. Knowing I'm writing for almost nothing takes away the charm of it.
Wishes and dreams is something I want to write about. Let's hope I get enough time and brains to do so.
For now. Keep those dreams and wishes coming in. One day everything you want will be yours.
Ciao.  

It's Been Long.

It's been long since I got a chance to write. This will probably become even more rare as I go deep into those hours of  study for the most dreaded O'levels. So finally CIE has new victims, sadly us. It seems like it was yesterday I saw my brother start his O's. Anyway. Time's limited now. I await new possibilities. 2011 didn't exactly bring anything new but hopefully this new school year is going to be productive in some way.
Wishes and dreams depend on this thus, it's best to flow along and not complain.
Chao.
 

When Stars are My Keepers

Sitting out there staring up, those stars are my keepers for the night.
The light that shines above is the hope of my life, last night was crap in one way yet amazing in all the others. If I'm the one looking you're the one ignorant. Of what's happening around you all I need is to show you, that the one you always forgot has been hanging there for a while, seeing the defeat coming near as each year passes by I crumble into pieces of what you thought were tears of joy. Seeing what's about to hit me gives me the strength to bear. Imagining a whole new world out of the fantasies one dreams of is not what comes out altogether. Mapping a route in your life is useless unless you can control what's about to happen. I toss around frustrated all night, thinking about how it triggered in just a week. Emotions can be controlled but the feeling within is what hides inside all the time.
With the sudden worry of you vanishing, I realize it's only lousy hope that's taking me nowhere. Over-thinking  becomes my weakness. I had the facts in front of me yet I refused to believe them.
Then I finally realize what's in front can't change just because I want it to.
So I take one last long look at you, take a deep breath to start a new journey without looking back at what could have been the best thing of my life. I turn around. Leave the battlefield, surrender without a fight.
These stars I've made in my heart will now help me navigate life, because When Stars are My Keepers, never can I go wrong.  

The Wait

He stood there holding on to every breath, flooded by deep thoughts of the days he spent by the window. The scent of the flowers stung him with nostalgia of the day he had succeeded triumph was in his eyes, he had won. Out of all he had claimed the title, he had been picked.
But destiny never lets one be happy for long. He never believed in such...but when life completely turned over he was compelled to.
He walked on the same grass, every footstep learnt by heart. A minute seemed an hour a day seemed a year without the presence he had loved all his life.
He could see the apparitions of what could have been real right then. Trying to reach for the hand that electrified every move.
The glass wall between his dream life and reality had crashed with the glass piercing into him when he was forced to see what reality was.
Knowing it was no use, yet he came. Still hoping that everything could be the same again and the nightmare would end. But he knew it was over, she was gone. He was a body without a soul.
The wait was just a dream he hoped for.

There on the other side, She knew the same.

Ps. Anyone who reads this might think it to be typical and cheesy but I guess inspired seeing someone and making it in a 10 minute drive is enough for an explanation 

Why Blame Time. ?

Every week passes by leaving you utterly shocked on seeing how quickly time flies. It seems like it was yesterday when you started off with your holidays but it has been almost two months now. So where did all this 'time' time go ?
Living in this fast-paced world life sometimes seems useless. You can't see yourself doing anything useful.
Plans fail, why ? Shortage of time. It's so easy putting all the blame on time. "I couldn't find time...." , "I was running out of time" , "If only I had more time...." etc. but do we ever wonder why time feels so short?
It's because we ourselves don't do anything useful. How many times have you seen yourself doing important work and feeling short of time when you started early. Never. It's when we become all lazy and do everything late that time feels short. Spending it wisely will obviously show a change.
Kindly stop blaming time and start looking at yourself

More Later

Got back from swimming. The water's bliss in this heat. Going out again to get some air.
Thought I'd fill in .
More on water coming up later.

I am what I love, not what people want.

I often come across people who are so inspired by others that they go to any and every extent to become like them, no matter how wrong they they may be. Taking influence from the west is a different topic, that, in my opinion is not wrong if one stays within limits.
Taking wrong influence from people just to make yourself prominent and known even if it means creating a new you only shows the lack of confidence and self-respect.
People who loose themselves into becoming something completely different out of the complex of being inferior to others will never find true happiness, the world remains fake around them.
Those who remain true to themselves are loved, accepted in a beautiful way and recognized as individuals not as sidekicks of fake unreal people
So here I am, being who I love not what people want.

In My Country, I Seek Refuge

It's been years since terror spread through this country, living like this has become usual for us citizens. Riots, bomb threats, target killings name any such thing and you'll find it here. Since the past few days I've been wondering what would this country have been if this 'terror' hadn't been here? Don't we all wish for our country (whichever it may be) to be a place recognized for it's peaceful environment. Yes we do, but do we ever think of cursing, abusing and leaving our home ? No. Ok maybe the idea of leaving does hit us but at the end of the day this is the place we call home. Our country is our identity , it is who we are, it is how we our recognized. We often find ourselves commenting on how wonderful it must be living in 'XYZ' country, but when we hear an anonymous person insulting our 'home' don't we end up getting defensive and try giving logical explanations? Truth is however bad our peace may be in our hearts there's pure love for our country which we can't fight in any case. Thus however frightful and dangerous it may be living here, no matter how much fear is instilled in our hearts, In my country I seek refuge.

Getting Started

Finally blogging. Never thought I'd be here. That's the beauty of life. It takes you to things you never dream of.
So here I am...exploring the world while living in my own fantasies. Focus at the moment is on making this blog and profile presentable.